Women are given a bunch of messages which reinforce ideas of being ornaments or needing to fulfill a particular expectation of the performance of 'woman.' There are so many times throughout my life when I was made less that they tend to blend together. They are the background radiation of the life of a woman in our culture. Other times it's more overt, so I included those as well. Even the things that seem innocuous or kind-hearted ("You should smile more!" or "You aren't like most girls!") can be erosive and corrosive, giving us an idea we that don't or shouldn't vary from a prescribed mean.